


i look at you and i sigh

by badlands (delusiohns)



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-27 07:57:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20042563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delusiohns/pseuds/badlands
Summary: Rue doesn’t exactly think her life is worth saving at this point, but she knows it’s important to Jules, so she’ll pick up every piece until her fingers are cut-up and raw from their sharp edges.





	i look at you and i sigh

**Author's Note:**

> title is from "a drinking song" by w. b. yeats

They are in Jules’ room, its kind of become their after-school thing. Jules is leaning up against the side of the bed and she’s pretending to get homework done. Rue is sprawled on Jules’ bed with her head leaning off the side, just inches away from Jules. They are not touching but there’s something so intimate, so pure about moments like these that Rue is afraid if she just breathes too loudly, she’ll ruin it. Her and Jules, their relationship hasn’t been the best lately. It’s fragile, delicate in nature like a butterfly’s wing and she fears any more tears will result in certain death. Maybe she’s just being dramatic. That doesn’t stop her from pulling all the air that she can possibly fill her lungs with just to hold it in.

She thinks of Jules, but that’s the only thing on her mind since she’s met the girl. She tries not to think of how fucked everything has been lately, everything she’s done to mess up the relationship and all the other bullshit going on with Tyler. So, she focuses on Jules.

She imagines who they could have been before all this shit went down. Before all the pain and the drugs. Maybe if she had Jules then she would have never stolen her dad’s Oxycontin. _Her dad_. She smiles at the idea of introducing Jules to her dad, who he used to be before he got sick. She knows her dad would have loved Jules just as much as does. Family dinners with Jules, eating her father’s favorite Chinese take-out. And maybe if Jules had her then she wouldn’t have hooked up with all those men, searching for something to make her feel more real. Even if she did hook up with stupid guys, she’d at least have Rue to come home to, to hold her and undo all the pain they may have caused. Maybe they could have saved each other before they started destroying themselves.

She lets herself play with that idea; she indulges in the fantasy because it’s better than the reality of what they are right now. Two broken girls trying to pick up the pieces of what they’re life used to be and put it all back together. Rue doesn’t exactly think her life is worth saving at this point, but she knows it’s important to Jules, so she’ll pick up every piece until her fingers are cut-up and raw from their sharp edges.

Rue lets out her breathe. She knows she can’t change the past and when she looks down at Jules there isn’t a thing that she’d want to change about her. So, for now, she’ll settle for picking up pieces of their ruin. Because laying in Jules’ bed, next to Jules, makes her feel something close to, _hope?_ She settles on that feeling, being with Jules makes her feel hope. It’s not something that she has allowed herself to feel in a very long time. It’s scary. And yet, she knows that with all the pieces she picks up, they’ll make the most beautiful mosaic.

Rue’s not afraid.

**Author's Note:**

> this is just kind of a short one-shot to get me back into writing. i love this show and this ship. this is un-beta'd so all mistakes are mine. comments are much appreciated as this is my first time writing these characters.


End file.
